My best friend, Kevin, is living with stage four brain cancer. This has caused me to pause, reflect, and appreciate his remarkable story of transformation. One that began with some extraordinary challenges.
When I was a high school freshman, Kevin moved in with the family next door. We quickly became close, spending countless hours together, and getting into all kinds of trouble (sorry, Mom). I knew Kevin was in foster care. He cursed like a sailor and had a fiery temper that landed him in more fights than I can count. He lived in survival mode, yet rarely complained. His dad was often drunk or in prison, and his mom lived in a nursing home after suffering a stroke when he was three. But to me, he wasn’t a foster kid or a troublemaker, he was just Kevin, my best friend.
After high school, our paths diverged. I went to college, and Kevin joined the Air Force. Both of us went on to build careers, marry, and raise families. Through it all, we rarely lost touch. Even now, we talk often, and our friendship remains one of the most important relationships in my life.
Not long ago, Kevin sent me a text that listed all the cities and homes he lived in from kindergarten until we met in ninth grade. The list was staggering – 26 different homes, many different families, in 15 different cities. My heart sank as I tried to grasp the enormity of what he endured. But it was his next text that truly stopped me in my tracks: he said the most formative and stable years of his life were the four years of high school when we became friends. Reading that broke me in the best way.
These days, Kevin has been looking back over his life, and I can’t help but join him. He overcame incredible odds to break a generational cycle, becoming an exceptional husband, father, and friend. He is facing one of the greatest challenges of his life, yet he still never complains. Instead, his resilience continues to humble me, as he cares for his family and stays close to his friends. He spreads courage, strength, gratitude, and love to everyone around him.
Kevin has taught me many things, but the most valuable lesson involves embracing challenges. When we do this, something profound happens. Adversity has the power to bring people together and make us stronger. Resilience grows, clarity emerges, kindness and empathy flourish, and a fresh passion for life takes hold.
Challenges are not just obstacles to overcome, they are catalysts for transformation. As leaders, we embrace the unknown with courage and purpose. Through it all, we learn, adapt, and emerge better equipped to face the future. But our most important job is teaching others to appreciate challenges and, like Kevin, allow hardships to unlock hidden strengths, ignite determination, foster unexpected connections, and help others rise. Personifying this mindset allows us to make things better and make a difference.
